Soft Hits

by Ashby and the Oceanns



Back in April, 2016 I moved to Chicago. This is a collection of songs I wrote over my first summer in the city. A lot of the songs are about my last couple relationships and finding closure during a really tough, stressful transition in my life.

The songs were written and recorded at three different houses in Chicago. One where I stayed a month in a small room with an inflatable mattress, one with a few dogs and a couple of drum kits, and finally, the quiet house I live at now... Oh, and one song was recorded on a pitchy piano in a garage somewhere.

It's also the first album where I played most of the songs live months before recording, so the songs have been changing and growing, and hopefully the album is stronger for that reason!

I'm glad I get to release music that people will listen to! I hope everyone enjoys the album! I'm glad it's done! I'm ready to move on to some different, exciting stuff! Uhm, that's it!


released November 8, 2016

Ash Barker- Guitar, Bass, Drums, Keyboards, Vocals, etc!
(All of the songs were recording using Audacity, and a shitty HP laptop that is on the verge of crashing!)



all rights reserved


Ashby and the Oceanns Chicago, Illinois

This is a music project by Ash Barker, a trans/nonbinary artist. New album Future Summers out Summer 2017!

contact / help

Contact Ashby and the Oceanns

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Cicada Song (Dead Skin)
the insects are singing in the summer heat,
grass grows through the sidewalk beneath your feet,
its another hot day in the city, youre walking
to the coffee shop on 18th

and you can hear the song of the cicada
through your open bedroom window tonight
yeah you can hear the song of the cicada
say your reborn and all is alright.

yaknow ive got skin thats paper thin
its decayed and it hangs like a mask
it takes a lot of courage just to go from a to bo
lets meet and drink coffee on sunday

a man followed me home last night,
and asked if i was gay
he said i looked like an army girl,
and he asked if i could stay.

dead skin, dead skin,
we all have a chance to begin again,
dead skin, oh dead skin
Track Name: If I Had A Dollar (For Every Time I've Had Damaging Sex)
if you need to be reminded, i thinking your doing well,
everyone needs a reminder that theyre doing well
yeah every day is just one day, and theres more on down the line
it can feel so bleak but i think were doing fine

we work a lot just to make a buck
we love a lot just have a fuck
if were lucky we might have a little luck
but most days seems like were fresh out, alone
yeah most days its so lonely and cold

if you need to be reminded, i know that you are loved
theres love in every molecule that holds your body up
and i think you are courageous and beautiful and strong
it feels so bleak some times, but promise itll be alright

even if i dont believe even if i had to try
with every fiber of being to not break down and cry x 2
Track Name: We Were Friends
we were friends when summer came
slept in your car, on the stateline
and we got drunk, fell into the pool
we were friends, we were friends

never going to be that way again
never going to look at you that way again

we were friends when summer came
now all thats left is this dress
the one i wore in the back of your car
before my parents knew we were friends

never going to be that way again
never going to look at you that way again
when we were friends,
when we were friends

movie marathon, two chord summer song,
it went on and on, when we were young,
not a care in the world, not a care in the world,
i couldve been your girl, i shouldve been your girl

hormones and youth will all come to an end,
but i really miss when we were friends.
safe space, unknown, we had no plans,
im sitting here missing when we were friends.
Track Name: Split Ends
i know they are only split ends, but i want them back,
though they were damaged beyond repair they were still part of my hair
and i dont care, i want them back.

cus when your hairs short you get misgendered,
even long hair's no guarantee
but it hink id feel bettter if i tried,
after all, gender is only the effort you put in,

two years can seem like nothing,
someday feel sjust as low,
even though i know im better off,
feels like i have nothing to show

i know they are only split ends, but i want them back.

lets move to the counry, and lets stay together,
lets live a small life, in a queen size bed
and i wont have to wonder what you think of me,
and i wont have to worry, i wont ever go back there

i know they are only split ends, but i want them back
Track Name: Calm Waves
im almost good enough
im almost happy with my self
im thinking good thoughts
and pushing the boulder up the hill

what do you want?
what do you want from me?

im almost happy now,
i feel in control,
i can feel the calm waves,
i can the bad ones go

i want to impress you,
but mostly, love me,
yeah mostly, love me,
and not want to change myself

im almost happy now,
i feel in control,
i can feel the calm waves,
i can the bad ones go

i know its hard
to feel like youve made progress
ive got big arms, but i cant swim
(i can feel the calm waves wash over me)
Track Name: Summer Girl
i never got a college degree, hope you think im interesting
my hands are hard from manual labor, still hope you think im pretty

i wanna be your summer girl

i wanna lose my sense of self, i wanna feel complete
i wanna be somebody else, lay my old self at your feet

this summer felt different, sun on my skin
yeah this summer, felt so different, itd feel good to win
Track Name: The U-Haul Song
let's drive a uhaul to the center of the earth
lets get an old dog, and watch it give birth, to
art, life with an easel,
and anything that'll please you, whoah oh
we got places to go

i think i learned my lesson not to move too fast,
but this time feels so different it feels built to last,
love spills, like coffee, in my lap, so i signed a
piece of papers, and rented a uhaul for a day.

let's drive a uhaul to the center of the world,
behind the steering wheel, your summer girl,
no Wait, no Hurry,
we'll pack the truck in a hurry, whoah oh
we got places to go.

its okay if we get a few months in
and realize all the fun is gone,
leave me broken and hurt,
my face in the dirt,
ill say "it was good for a while, huh?"

and you'll sing

"let's drive a uhaul, one last time,
you'll drive your way and I'll drive mine,
we won't see eachother, anymore,
it'll Be just like before, just like before.
Track Name: Wasted
the winter mornings in our bed,
hearing the sound, the sound of your breath
all of the time we had is wasted, wasted

the effort that wwe both put in,
i threw away on just a whim,
all of the time we had is wasted, wasted

i thought that we would feel good forever,
but the feeligns didnt last that long
i thought that i would feel this good forever and ever
but all that time was wasted all along.

i asked you to accept,
who i was and what i wanted
all of the time we had is wasted, wasted

i asked if you were okay,
as i sent you on your way,
all of the time we had is wasted, wasted

maybe its not wasted if we both learned something
maybe its not wasted if it was another step
maybe its not wasted if were both moving forward
maybe you werent wasted on me after
Track Name: I Saved The Whales
its been three years with a chip on my shoulder
saying bad things about the ones i love
family is so complicated, but i really wanna rise above it

i dont wanna sing sad trans songs anymore
in the life, theres gotta something more, something so much more
i wanna be an optimistic soul, i have so so long to go
but id rather try, than get stuck spinning the same old same old,
the same old songs.

its been three years id like to say i changed
changed my face, my body, or maybe just my name
i can pray for change but its the same me everyday

its been three years, what have i learned
when the relationships bad, its time to burn
all the photographs delete the path at the source

theres a place and theres a time, to sing sad songs and have a cry
but i wanna believe im buildin on something here
a hurting heart, a long sigh, broken strings, still i try
i wanna believe im building on something here